spring angst

i am eating breakfast and listening to NPR right now. they just did a story about today being the ten year anniversary of the columbine massacre.

that means today also marks ten years since my dad passed away.

there was probably not any connection. dad had a tv in his hospital room but was probably to far gone with cancer to be aware of much of anything.

but it's funny how things can get connected in our minds. these two events happening on the same day marked the beginning of the end of my fascination with crime and violence. i suddenly made the connection of violence to real pain and suffering. i can't hear a horrible story anymore without thinking about the aftermath for the people involved.

i try not to be superstitious, but april has become kind of a creepy month for me. things i don't have time to write about now have happened in this month.

i'm going to work now. i'm going to pull out of this downer mood by cooking cajun food today. for whatever reason, i can't stay depressed while making gumbo or jambalaya. if you're not feeling good, i hope you find something that works for you. later

expletive deleted

walking through my neighborhood today, i saw a thirty something, clean cut yuppie type playing in a driveway with a small boy, presumably his son. the boy was very cute, curly haired, maybe three or four years old. the man was tossing a ball at the kid, who was trying to hit it with a toy tennis racket. as i passed, i heard the man say (in a pleasant tone, not yelling) "swing a little slower, when you swing with all your strength, you miss the motherf****r."

 i don't even have kids, and even i know that you don't drop major league cuss words in front of a small child without expecting to hear them again. children learn by imitating the grownups in their worlds. 

the next time that man hears this oedipal swear word, it will be from that child. trust me, his parents will be mortified.

i kind of wish i could be a fly on the wall and see it happen.

believe me, i am not uptight about profanity. i love hearing offensive language used creatively and in proper context. the problem i have with using bad words casually is that they lose all impact. if i am upset enough to curse out loud, i want it to get someone's attention. if i am going to go on a tirade, i want it to be very distinct from everyday conversation.

if that child's parents aren't careful, that kid will grow up with a really bad attitude and end up working in food service.

actual exchange i overheard at work two saturdays ago between line cook danny and waiter jimmy:

danny: "dude, you got over hard eggs because you sent the ticket in over hard. if you want f***ing over easy eggs, than f***ing ring them up over easy."

jimmy (shouting) : "stop swearing at me, c***sucker, and get me those g***amn eggs!"

it's great fun to work in a place where the level of discourse could not get much lower.