spring angst

i am eating breakfast and listening to NPR right now. they just did a story about today being the ten year anniversary of the columbine massacre.

that means today also marks ten years since my dad passed away.

there was probably not any connection. dad had a tv in his hospital room but was probably to far gone with cancer to be aware of much of anything.

but it's funny how things can get connected in our minds. these two events happening on the same day marked the beginning of the end of my fascination with crime and violence. i suddenly made the connection of violence to real pain and suffering. i can't hear a horrible story anymore without thinking about the aftermath for the people involved.

i try not to be superstitious, but april has become kind of a creepy month for me. things i don't have time to write about now have happened in this month.

i'm going to work now. i'm going to pull out of this downer mood by cooking cajun food today. for whatever reason, i can't stay depressed while making gumbo or jambalaya. if you're not feeling good, i hope you find something that works for you. later